Good to see you too, old man, even though you know I’m more trouble than I’m worth. I mean, come on, pretty sure I just put Nair in the wrong bottle of shampoo. Whoops. I can’t be sure, but I think the screams of “Fucking hell, that overgrown beast is still alive, someone please take that thing out already before it kills someone” was a dead giveaway. Can we? Not gonna lie, I’d love to see that.
You are trouble, but certainly not more than you’re worth. Trust me, this place would be that much emptier without you around. Hey, just as long it’s not my shampoo I’m not going to complain at all. For the record Sprinkles has yet to harm a soul that didn’t have it coming and he’s actually quite fond of your father. Either way, he’s coming in for dinner next time. Maybe we can pretend all the bedrooms are full and make them share a room too while we’re at it.
James walked through the forest with firm footsteps, the large animal in front of him leading through the maze of trees. The sky was a thick gray color, air bitingly cold despite the fact that it was only fall. James found himself suppressing a shiver when a breeze drifted by.
Art’s hippogriff had greeted him enthusiastically when he went outside to go see if he might be able to find Art out there - he hadn’t seen the man in days. Sprinkles crowed loudly and nuzzled his hand before turning him towards the Forbidden Forest, giving him a look that seemed to convey that he should come along.
They had been trudging through the dirt and fallen leaves for what felt like hours before Sprinkles finally stopped outside of a colossal stone cave. James recognized where they had stopped immediately, though he was confused as to why he was led there.
“Is Art hiding out in here? Thanks for letting me know.” James quirked his lips and patted the hippogriff on the head before walking slowly into the cave.
Art wasn’t there. His grandfather’s car was parked in the middle of the cave, looking tired but somehow determined to remain functional. It kind of reminded him of Art. The pieces were slowly starting to fit together in James’ mind, but he didn’t want to believe it. He ran his hand over the hood of the car, his palm coming up blue and dark orange.
Art hadn’t been around in a couple of days.
James visited his quarters yesterday, and his workspace looked strangely free of clutter.
Sprinkles seemed extremely happy to see him, as if it was the first familiar face he’d seen all day. The only one he’d be seeing for a long time.
Art left.
The realization didn’t exactly hit James like a ton of bricks. He supposed there was a little voice in the back of his head that had suspected as such for a little while, but he just didn’t want to listen to it.
The facts were there, though, laid out before him like a patch of drooping grass. He felt his heart lodge itself in his throat while simultaneously dropping somewhere near his feet. He had to remind himself to breathe, that the world would be going on and he could be sure of it because Art was certainly not the first person to leave him.
Though, he was the first one to do so without even trying to say goodbye.
Was it, really, a mistake? Did it feel like one when you were making it? Be honest to me.
When I came back, Art, it felt surreal to have you still love me, but it still felt right - I still felt the same as I did before I left. I don’t know how I feel anymore…
I wouldn’t know, I was so drunk I couldn’t have told you my name if you asked.
Well, I won’t force you to bear with me if you don’t feel the same anymore. Just know that no matter what it may seem like to you, I do still feel the same way, and I do still love you the way I did before. Unfortunately though, I still make mistakes the way I did before as well, but that’s my own loss more than yours, isn’t it?
I’m sorry.
Yeah, me too.
I’m sorry for being stupid enough to push you away twice. What are you sorry about?
You don’t have to say anything. I’m just doing what feels right. Thanks for believing in me? Can’t tell if that was sarcasm or you really meant it. You can’t even beat bad for good, it’s the nature’s way of keeping the balance. Balance is good, better than Utopia, that’s for sure. Oh please, I’m scared just as any other man, but not everybody has to know that, right? But I’m glad you’re enjoying it.
You’re too good to me, you know that? I really meant it, though fair warning, Dex comes armed with good looks and charm so beware. Why’s that? What’s so bad about Utopia? It’s good that you don’t let it show. Some people need that kind of person to lean on.
Please, don’t. I’ve had tons of those from Dexter lately. I don’t think my ego can take any more. The oddest thing is that not only I, but no one even seems to have a slightest idea of who it might be. It’s impossible that we’re that blind. There must be more than one traitor, like, a group of them working to cover each other’s trails, maybe? Well, so far, the only point they’ve proved is that we don’t care for kids and that we’re both clueless and defenseless. Or at least it looks that way to the media.
From Dex? Took my advice and had a talk with him, did you? Did he give you cavities and diabetes from the on slaughter of compliments in about thirty seconds flat? You mean people on the inside are covering for people on the outside? That’s not out of the question-nothing is at this point but who is the question. It’s frustrating, you know? Not being able to figure any of this out for our own. I feel like there’s something I-all of us should be doing about this but what can we do, really?
Tell me what you want to hear
Something that were like those years
I’m sick of all the insincere
So I’m gonna give all my secrets away
-Secrets, OneRepublic
James is sitting in the Astronomy Tower, legs dangling off the edge and a cigarette hanging off his lips. He’s a little surprised when Art appears next to him, face red and raw and weary, but he doesn’t show it. Doesn’t have the energy.
They sit in silence for about five minutes until Art speaks up.
“Kid, does anybody really give a fuck about you?” Somehow, James knows that Art isn’t talking about him. What he means is something along the lines of “Does anybody really give a fuck about anything?”
His answer to both questions is the same.
“Probably not, but that’s never really stopped you before, has it?”
Art laughs, but it doesn’t sound sincere.
I’ve come to the conclusion that my soul mate will be a mixture of Adrien Brody and Jim Sturgess.
I love you, Art. Just thought you should know.
I love you too, you know. A lot more than you think I do.
Always.
Good.
Shit Art that was a puzzle within a mystery.. I swear. Though what did you expect your life to be like? I think you are doing a damn great job
yet your love life could use some sorting out..
What can I say, I’m just an enigma shrouded in mystery wrapped in bacon. And drunk. Very drunk. Thanks, kiddo. I was expecting a stable partner, a stable mental state, happiness, I love my job, but less stress in it was what I was expecting. I was expecting a lot from my second chance at life.
I know you didn’t ask but…I always bother to do so cause I feel like a horrid human being. Eh…With that being said, I might as well go away.
Night, Art. Enjoy your drinking.
Wait.
